Wanted.

I can't really think of anything very interesting to write tonight, partially because I'm tired, but mostly because I just watched Wanted on DVD and I feel like I need to take some sort of deep-cleansing procedure to purge myself of the experience.

First of all, did anyone see how many parallels there were to the Matrix in there? The faster-than-normal mode. The boring desk job. The hot girl in leather who recruits the nerd. The venerable black actor playng the leader. The role of destiny, and the ridiculous search for identity. EVEN the shit that little Mr. Atonement was wearing while he was 'training' was straight out of the Matrix. 

Despite the glaring intellectual copyright infractions, and the complete and steadfast adherence to the textbook 'epic action/adventure movie' plot - it was really really bad. If you disagree with me, I'm sorry. You are wrong.

But not me! A movie is supposed to be entertaining! And I was entertained, so I liked it!

No. Just shut up. There was a magical loom that printed the future in a non-G-Rated movie. Enough said. Who should we kill? Lets check the Persian in the living room.

My heart beats 400 times per minute, could I be an assassin?

No. You are a cardiac timebomb. Fill out your will immediately. And do not get behind the wheel of a car.

But you get to see Angelina Jolie's butt in the movie!

Get the internet. You can see a lot more than that.

So please don't see it. Please. And if you do - then watch it with friends so you can make fun of it. Otherwise it breaks down the very fabric of my respect and hope for mankind.

Phew. Man, I love bitching about movies.