Sick!

I've been pretty sick the past week. Which means:

1. Wiping snot onto hidden surfaces and inappropriate materials.
   
   
2. Getting down in the dumps mentally (I think the ass-cold weather takes partial credit as well).

• re-evaluating existence

• questioning the purpose... of everything. Because when you are lacking motivation, there had better be a damn good reason for motivation to exist before you do anything...
  
• other such questions you might ask yourself if you were having a bad acid trip in a mid-level college philosophy class. (these are the things a fever does to me)
  

3. And not having motivation to write, blog, or shower.

4. A lot of youtube.


And here are a couple of gems I found during the past week or so.

The first one is a fantastic live performance of Arcade Fire and David Bowie. Amazing energy, amazing song.



This second one is pretty self-explanatory...

Where's The Spitoon in Here?

My recent forays into the bowels of mortgage refinance have unearthed some surprising information. Information that might surprise, shock and titillate you. Information, that in the wrong hands, could prove dangerous, or even deadly. Accounts of events so unbelievable and epic that they make Homer sound like a gossip columnist. Tales of heroes that make Jack Bauer look like Pee Wee Herman.

When someone signs up to do temp work for Wells Fargo, there are certain norms that pop into your mind. With a company that large, with a full-scale PR campaign running through the national UHF airwaves (or through the coaxial cable networks), a certain shade of expectation is cast before actually starting the position.

I am saying this only because I could not have been grosser in my miscalculations. Wells Fargo is not at all what they portray themselves to be on television. Never in my life have I seen such a corporate cover-up.

My first suspicions rose their curious eyes during our initial job training. I needed to go through hours of compliance and bank secrecy information, which is all fine and dandy, but I would rather just get straight to work. Where are the stables?

Also, where are the carriages? And most importantly, why was I the only person wearing proper work attire? Nobody else had on tough high-heel cowboy boots, nor did I see ONE other pair of chaps. How did these poor suckers expect to stay warm and blister-free as we rode across North Dakota? Don't ask me. One woman had a skirt on.

So guess what? And you are NOT going to believe this. Wells Fargo - THE Wells Fargo - is nothing more than a Full Financial Services Company. Not an armored carriage service that runs across the northern Americas. Wow - you wouldn't believe how stupid the instructor looked when I called him out on that one! He couldn't even tell me the last time he knew they had a carriage service. I assume the phone call he made right after our discussion was to ask his superior that same question.

So the next time you watch your muted commercials and see a horse-drawn carriage canter across the high plains, just nod your head in truth, and find comfort that you heard it here first. Wells Fargo is a bank.

And my job is going to be a lot less exciting than I had hoped for.

Winter Sanity

Sometimes, in the cold and dark northern winter, you need to take extra special efforts in order to keep the spirits up. It's almost as if you need to keep a strict, cohesive schedule - similar to a... power hour?

Huh, that's a good idea. We should do a power hour....

Muffin?

...But Somebody Has Got To Do It

The most interesting and captivating clip I have seen in a long time. If you don't like what you do, or you aren't sure what you want to do, watch this.





What I found especially poignant was Rowe's mentioning of a war on work, specifically by Hollywood, which is an idea that I subscribe to. Hollywood is filled with people that, for lack of a better phrase, don't want a real job - I should know, I moved there. So whenever you see someone at work in a movie, it's usually depicted very negatively (Office Space, Joe V. The Volcano, Wanted, or any job out a restaurant). The combination of a good writer and director and a little Hollywood glam can be incredibly alluring. Just don't watch Entourage if you want to achieve any semblance of job satisfaction.

Ok, So I'm A Nerd

With the maturity of computer-aided graphic design (CGI) about ten years ago, Hollywood finally had the cajones to produce comic book movies that needed a respectable amount of special effects. These movies have been a cash cow in LA for the past ten years, so I thought I would do a little research to see which ones were the best. And for being someone who read comic books back in the day, I was a little surprised to find out how many of these caped-heroes actually translated to decent movies.

Best and Worst Marvel Movies:

Best: Iron Man (2008)


It's OK to have a movie that isn't 100% realistic, but to compensate, it needs to boast creativity, entertainment and wit. It looks like all three of those collided with Iron Man, with Jr. playing Tony Stark to a tee (or is it tea?). Can anyone else FEEL the aura of self-importance exuded by Terrance Howard when they watch him on film?








Worst: Fantastic Four: Rise of The Silver Surfer (2007)


I can only comment on the films that I have seen, and after being forced to sit through this one - I happily declare it the winner. And while I was majorly disappointed in the two former Spiderman flicks, nothing compares to the F4 - a movie reeking of product placement and kitchy gags. But even as I watched, kicking and screaming, I wasn't convinced that it was the worst... until the wedding scene when Stan Lee, playing himself, was bounced at the door for not being on the guest list. Suspension of disbelief? Gone.










Best And Worse DC Movies:

2-Way Tie for Best: Superman (1978) and The Dark Knight (2008)


One was the classic film with Christopher Reeves with a jheri curl, the other is the gritty new-age film that blurs the lines between a a silly comic book and a legitimate and artistic film. No real close-seconds here. Pretty much every DC movie is either Superman or Batman. (This list could be dated as soon as Watchmen arrives in theaters in 2009)




Worst: Batman & Robin (1997)


I haven't seen Swamp Thing 2 yet, but I have seen way too many Batman movies that make me wonder whether their target audience is young boys, or boys town. Enough with the nipples on the armor. Enough with the 'holy rusted metal batman!'. Enough with the 'let's put on tights and tickle each other!'.


Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Don't open that door.... don't do it! AAAHHHH!!!

It's been a little while, but I've been pretty busy - moving all my stuff from LA, to San Carlos, to Boston, and then to Minneapolis. I should be here for AT LEAST a few months. Just kidding, I can't afford to move again for a little while.

After a complete blow-out party at our house for NYE, a bunch of us staggered over to the Riverview Theater to see 'Let The Right One In' at 11:00 PM last night.

And despite the fact that I was dead tired, the movie was starting late, and it paced at near Benjamin Button-speed... I loved it. A Swedish love story between two twelve-year olds, where one was a vampire. And it turned out to be one of my favorite Vampire movies ever.

So.

I decided to start a 'Best Of' list. It may end here, or it may catch on and move onto different categories. We'll just have to see how long my motivation lasts.

Best Vampire Movie:
'Let The Right One In'


While up against the heavy-hitting Nosferatu, and Bram Stroker's, the Swedish version was raw and creepy - and creates suspense based upon what you can't see, not with CGI and 'cheap surprises'. Awesome Vampire movie award is a tie between Blade, and Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter.






Best Werewolf Movie:
'Teen Wolf'

I've only seen about ten minutes of this movie, and it was the scene where MJ Fox was a high school werewolf doing back-flips on the basketball court and slamming some hard-core dunks. Michael J. Fox dunking!! Apparently wolves are good at basketball. Underworld is the only other decent werewolf movie I have seen.








Best Ghost Movie:
'The 6th Sense'



This category is far more saturated than the other two, with the strongest runner-ups being Ghostbusters and The Shining. In 'Sense', writer/director M. Night Shyamalan peaked too early in his career - and has been since given free reign to pump out whatever he wants into the theaters. And for those of you who saw this with me in theater, and insist constantly that I didn't understand the ending... I hate you.