Part III: And The Shoes Fit So Well That I Pulled a Forest Gump

Or at least that's a really good excuse for not posting a blog in God-knows how long. Actually it's really easy to see how long. About 4 months. Yikes.

Truthfully, I have been disposed of for the past six months. It's actually a long story. But it's an amazing story. Full of wonder, excitement, thrills, laughter, sadness, and a little bit of nausea. Some would even call it epic. But it isn't for the faint of heart, so read on at your own risk:

It all started back in September...

I was what you would call a 'returning student'. After graduating St. Olaf in '06 and receiving a perfectly functional diploma and a perfectly adequate degree, with a perfectly sizable student loan, I decided, out of the blue mind you, that I needed more. There was something missing. Economics had grown stale with the economy, and solipsism reeked in the ranks of those who utilized it. I wanted concrete answers, not just theories and probabilities and graphical interpretations. So I turned to science.

Science, it seemed, was the only refuge from the calamity. So, with great purpose and fervor, I registered online at the University of Minnesota to take classes in Biology, Physics and Chemistry. Classes that would sharpen my mind, broaden my horizons, and crush my sense of intellectual confidence. I told Wells Fargo that my experience with them was invaluable, and that I appreciated everything that was done for me, and I hoped that they would not be slighted by my decision to leave. They said whatever. I'm sure I will be missed. I said farewell to my cubicle as I left. Wait... was that my cubicle? Or is that mine over there? Damn, they all look alike. I think this one was mine...

But what of science? Of the great celestial spheres, and the humors of the human body, and the magical forces that pulled the Sun across out sky by a chariot of flaming horses? This was the new direction of my life.

So there I stood, in front of the Tate Hall of Physics. New shoes on my feet, headphones in my ears, and backpack on my... well, on my back. It was time to learn how the world really works. So I summited the marble steps and crossed the precipice. Opening a door that would would lead to the most unexpected and remarkable adventures ever to grace the thoughts of man...