Just some downtime

Ok seriously. The theory of relativity is proven day in and day out here at my bank. When there is nothing to do, time stands still. It is getting so bad that my coworkers will ask me to write something on here just so they can read it to pass the time.

Do you remember that opening sequence in The Matrix, when to capture the speed of Trinity’s motion, they freeze-frame her jump kick, and then spin around to give you a panoramic view? That is the time sequence I live in at work. To make another reference, it's like when Will Ferrell shot himself in the neck with a tranquilizer dart in Old School and was reeling around with the slow motion voice of Stiffler in his head.

To counteract this time/space bending enigma that is our bank, I use medicinal doses of coffee. The caffeine, while making me a bit klutzy, really helps kick the clock back into a normal cadence. So while I may not count your bills correctly, at least I am not speaking like James Earl Jones on an ether and opium bender.

Here is a little exercise for everyone out there. Sit in a silent motionless place, maybe the computer you are at right now. Now don't move. Don't worry you finished all of your daily work two hours ago. Need to go to the bathroom? Already did it. Twice. Just keep staring at that blank spot on the wall. You can yawn now. YAAWWWNNN. I bet I made you yawn. I can't stop yawning right now as I am writing this. Continue for seven hours. Fight urge to put head in drive-up drawer and test how strong the motor is. Haha, just kidding! Ha. ha....heh.

If you aren't already asleep, it's time to fill that coffee back up again and stare out the window like Randall Patrick McMurphy after his final trip to the 'correctional' ward. If you don't, you'll find yourself stumbling into the customers saying "you're crazy man. I like you, but, but your crazy."