These Aren't Fantasies, These Are Options

Meet Chris McDaniel. The Boy Wonder. The Star Wars Kid. Possibly even Jesus Reincarnate.

I'm going to come right out and say this first: I just bought another deck of magic cards at Newbury Comics. There. It's out there.

Now I just want you to get over that fact, and appreciate with me, that I got a Magic: The Gathering Pro Player Trading Card with my deck. And my pro player is Chris McDaniel.

I mean, just look at that steely scowl. That imposing stature, and those deep penetrating eyes that you know, deep down, are asking you to teach him how to talk to girls. Who wouldn't want one of these cards?

On the back of the card it gives the players stats and a bio that tries ever-so-hard to make them sound bad-ass. The best they could come up with was that his nickname is the Star Wars Kid. Oh well. He has $25,000 in winning so far, so I can't laugh too hard. But I can still laugh. Picture him posing at Topps, next to Terrell Owens...

Since I am leaving soon, I try to spend more time with the brohams, and that usually means playing magic. It is all-inclusive (no athletic handicap), it's easy to set up, it's competitive (important), and it pisses the hell out of my mom when we don't do anything but play cards all day. All pluses!

On the back of my Pro card it has an 'action' picture. Which looks about as ridiculous as it sounds. Chris's still has him slouching in a chair and tossing a do-you-know-who-I-am look over at his opponent. They don't show it, but I would be willing to bet they are sitting at a foldable card table in a dingy high school gym, surrounded by an acne level so high, that Neutrogena reps flew in all the way from Norway.

What this card has given me, besides a good laugh, is the seed for a new dream. A seed that, if planted, might blossom into a glorious new career.