Tim Allen The Science Guy

The internet has practically taken over my life; it's quite scary. I have websites I browse for news, entertainment, sports, and anything else you could think of (that's right, I said anything). I also have quite a few go-to websites that I use in case of emergency*.

*emergency: (n)

1.	a sudden, urgent, usually unexpected occurrence or occasion requiring immediate action.

2. when I have a lot of stuff to do and need to procrastinate to prevent anything from actually happening

Some of these are located in my blogroll to the right under 'Fellowship Of The Blog'. Others are random sites like msnbc, and fasterskier.com. So one really, really busy day, I was on youtube watching a particular episode of Inside The Actors Studio with James Lipton (nothing kills an afternoon like nine-part youtube clips) and I saw that Tim Allen's episode had been uploaded. After seeing almost every episode of Home Improvement, I was excited to get to see the real side of the Tool Man. What was it like? Answer: Depressing as hell.

He is riddled with issues and guilt, and as some celebrities tend to do, he used James Lipton as a very public therapist. He did say something, however, that piqued my interest. Tim wrote a book called I Am Not Really Here in 1996, which is - get ready for this - the Toolman's attempt at Quantum Physics. Oh, but with some humor thrown in too. In the interview, he claimed that he wasn't actually standing there, and that none of us where actually here either. Crazy? Maybe. But with this particle collider getting warmed up over at CERN right now, and my penchant towards philosophy and physics, my curiosity was instantly piqued.

I'm not really sure what I expected when I grabbed a book from the shelf that had a comedian holding forward a photoshopped picture of a atom. Enlightenment?

Anyway, the book, like most academic papers, meanders back and forth from his research to comical reasons as to why women (like photons and muons) are always rushing about from place to place.

I actually had genuine interest in the book and his forays into quantum mechanics, but couldn't get past his TERRIBLE transitions. The man was a standup comedian, so I can see where he got it, but the editor should have known better.

So as I stood there waiting for my shower to warm up, it reminded my of how it takes a while for a woman to warm up to a man, coincidentally, the same laws apply in the world of quanta!!

Jeesh. Lesson? Get your comedy from comics, and you science from scientists. And if you're really, really busy, get your procrastination here.


I don't think so, Tim
-Al Borland