Free Fallin'

I know it's still winter and there is a thick,crusty dirty layer of snow burmed up against the sidewalks and street corners, and it may very well drop below zero on several occasions before it gets warmer, but I am already thinking about spring. Actually I think the promise of spring enters everyone's minds right after the first snowfall. There is a palpable excitement as the first flakes dance and twirl to the ground, and children watch as it amasses to wondrous heights in the lawn, blanketing everything with an innocent and pure coat of simplicity, covering the ugly scars of fall. That first wintery night, everyone cozies up in bed, reminiscing of those days that they were once children and couldn't wait to get outside and build snow forts and go sledding at murderous speeds down a hill.

The next morning you go outside to start your car staring numbly at the four solid inches of inconvenience that covers your entire vehicle and the entire road all the way to work, and think sh*t, this is going to be a long f-ing winter. From that point on, you stare straight ahead to April and don't look back.

Allow me to boomerang back from that digression to complete my train of thought. I am looking forward to spring for a specific reason: I want to skydive.

I am not sure I want to do this yet, but the idea has crossed my mind on numerous occasions. Now, being one who routinely sharts themselves during heavy turbulence on commercial flights, you might not think I am a prime candidate for death jumping (my new nickname). Actually during those times of turbulence I am commonly found gripping the hand rests with sweaty hands, trying to look like I am sleeping or reading as calm as Cool Hand Luke, when inside my too-f*ing-creative-for-my-own-good brain I am flipping out like a germaphobe on the subway who just realized he forgot his hand sanitizer. As each bump and jostle hits me, I just casually look out the window and think that wing is bending like a freaking diving board at fat camp.

The reason I am entertaining the idea of death jum...sky diving, is because you are strapped to a parachute. In my eyes, that is safer that any commercial flight. For example, if I'm flying Delta and the captain says "We're going down!" they tell you to buckle up. Buckle up! Sure, I'll strap myself right in here, you say we're going to hit mountains? I don't want to mss this one!

If I am skydiving and the captain says "We're going down" I'll say OK, peace out brotha! And hop out the back door.

So I’m pretty sure I'll do this. I'm almost committed to it. Let's just say that there is a good chance I will commit to the idea of checking this out.